Revue Reviews: Mignonnes "Cuties" (2020)
So...I figured the first Wrong Review I'd write here would be less um THIS but here we are. And what a Novel concept, let's teach a lesson by doing the worse possible thing. Oh yeah, Netflix plans to die on this Hill and I brought some rope, this is Cuties.
The movie starts with our "Hero" Amy (...Okay) seeing her life flash before her eyes. Then we see her and her home life with her Mom, and Brothers. She goes to worship or the Islamic equivalent and goes to school when this happens.
I agree with the Lady, what the Fuck, WHAT THE FUCK!!
These are the "Cuties" from the poster that crashed Netflix Stock. They are Dancers you see, I've been studying other languages and got an understanding of the undubbed parts of this Movie. One day, Amy sees something amazing at the laundry, a Dance? But Dancing is graceful and dignified, something is not right. Amy is Down because her dad is a No Show or something and (shock gasp) is getting married to another woman.
The Next Day (I guess) Amy sees the Cuties at the store thoting it up for the cameraman. She finds them practicing their Trot-a-Thot Routine and gets shooed away.
I don't know, maybe I would give up on hanging with the Jail bait Sisters but I'm not in this screenplay. Later after a Move (I think they Moved, it's Not clear) Amy trying on her brother's shirt gets this look...
While unpacking the little Thot in the making steals that Guy's Cellphone (You know so she'd have access to Social Media with her upbringing). Later at school the Cuties don't take kindly to Muslim girls and attack her for watching them (Sure, that camera guy helping himself is fine though). Angelica (the one with the glasses) tells them to lay off she's too square to get hoochie smacked.
A while later (You can tell this is a film festival winner it's scene transition is seamless...) , Angelica is being chased by her brother and dragged Amy into the situation. Later that Night, Amy uses her stolen phone to send her audition head shots to the director. At School, she runs into the Cuties trying to snag a Dic Pic from another unfortunate sucker that will be thrown under the bus during the fallout of this movie's release.
After bonding with Cutie's Leader The Camera Ma- I mean Angelica, the let her film their Trot a Thot Music Video. This New world of the Thot makes Amy See all new things like Hoochie videos and staring at the asses of others during worship.
Later at School they want to drop Fat Cutie but the don't have enough Thots to Trot. Fat Cutie gets all up in Angelica's business and they have a Falling out with Fat Cutie.
After that mess, Amy tells Angelica that she can replace that other girl and be their Phat Cutie. After an uncomfortable montage with the kids (Yeah Defenders of THIS Movie they're KIDS) they advance their routine from "Slightly Troubling" to "The Feds are Outside". But hey, maybe I'm just TOO dumb to get this eh Netfix. Later we get more "Bonding Time" with Amy and Angelica. It turns out that Angelica's parent's don't much like them there Thots.
The Next day Amy becomes a Muslim Woman when she learns he has to prepare and Cook for her Father's Wife's Wedding. Okay let be break away from the bit to at least address this logic. I don't know about you or anything really about Muslim tradition but if you told me I had to help with a Wedding under THESE circumstances even back when I was 12 (or 11) I'd tell you to kiss my ass and go fuck yourself. After being brought to I'm guessing the Midwife or Elder Amy slaves over her duties to her awful culture (They film it like that but I stand by what I said about how this situation with cooking for Daddy's New Boo).
After that we get this strange scene with the dress in the closet (Blood? Did someone get hurt?). While taking the Food to the the reception or something Amy looks visibly panicked and breaks off to try and make it to this Movie's Audition (How Meta...). I kid, she makes it to see the Cuties auditioning for the director and producer just as their Rival's come in. After making it back home, the Midwife Elder is waiting for her.
After getting a mild talking to, the camera zooms out to show how fucked up the filmmakers are. Yes that scene with the Dress from earlier was "Symbolism" for Amy getting her period. Well, Shit I'll just put the rope over here and tie it like so...It doesn't help that they film her looking at her crotch later. The Cuties are mad at Amy because she may have costed them the spot on "Who want's to get Pedophiles Jailed?", they squash it for a bit to wait for the "Talent Call" and head to a local Laser Tag Arcade to ruin two more men's lives.
After they get the call we get another Pedobait Montage. The next day, Amy now "Empowered" by their new found success revamps their looks and struts it for the Director and filming crew but Fat Cutie (remember her?) tosses soda at the Cutie Crew. Amy thinks her Trot skills are up for a one on one but gets put on her ass. They regroup or something and I guess that the day ends.
They show the Poster shot (the one that they are using NOW) but the context is that they bought clothes for the Big dance off and the little brother character is in the back picking up their shit. Later they show more cast photos before getting back home with Amy where her brother is being scolded for having a Mini Drone. Amy BSs her mom and they have dinner. Momsy takes a fall and true to her character at this point in this dumpster fire she doesn't look too concerned.
Later that night, the guy who Amy stole the Phone from (Remember this dead man?) finds her using his phone. He takes it and yells at her when this happens...
Yeah, whoeverthefuck is having NONE of her Thot Shit and walks off but determined to be a dumb bitch she snatches the phone, locks herself in the bathroom and takes a picture of her cooter. Oh Yeah Netflix, that's the ticket get that noose nice and tight. She sends the pic online (?????) and quickly gives back the phone. Next day at school, because her snatch was ID-ed online some little prick smacks her ass and calls her a whore in class (well, he's not wrong). So to achieve Peak Cunt in this movie she stabs the boy with someone's pen.
After finally being disciplined for once, Amy's mother and that Midwife Elder try to banish the super bitch out of her. Unfortunately the filmmakers STILL think they are creating art have Amy hoochie dance during her punishment. The Cuties are fed up with Amy also because yeah they shake their ass for the camera but they aren't sluts.
Amy is still high off achieving Peak Cunt causing the girls to ditch her and hang out with Fat Cutie again (She's Still in this?). But before that there is a scene with another man that should be put on suicide watch for appearing in this. Amy runs into Angelica at the laundry and gets too clingy before the festivities with that whole my Dad's bullshit wedding gets started (the transition was shit like always). They have a scene with a cloaked figure in white but it goes nowhere and Amy heads off the the Pedo Dance Event but not before...
After shoving Fat Cutie into the drink she heads to the competition just in time to take the stage with the rest of the Jail Bait. After the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SCENE in this movie we arrive at the opening bit with Amy crying in context (it STILL makes no sense). Amy comes back to the festivities where even after everything she did her Mother still tolerates her. Then the movie tries that Artsy shit with the dress (She NEVER wears that dress) and she goes outside, jumps rope with some randos and "Happy Ending?"
*Slow Clap* Wow Netflix way to stick it to the Patriarchy. Those Manlets and Right Wingers just don't understand film or some shit. Sorry Fuck this Movie, this isn't Art this is the Hill the Far Left Libtards Die on. This makes even movies like the Room or Plan 9 look good because they failed on their own and made NO excuses. This is just Pedo Apologist propaganda that deserves no real analysis just scorn. Find a hole to die in if you're okay with this.
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